There is no way. So you keep on eating those delicious things. That's right, eat all you want darling

so, its reading things like the following that just make my day ...

B: "His one eyed one legged, hunched backed cancer ridden girlfriend was named Lucky."

J: "Whaa whaa whaa - whatever."

okay maybe you had to be there.

but that got me to thinking about funny quotes, and in particular Jack Handy! he is hillarious!
his site is : http://www.deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com/
but i also really like this site 'cause it has a ton of quotes too:
http://www.erikandanna.com/Humor/DeepThoughts/index.htm

my absolute favorite is this one. i dont know why but i laughed so much my stomach started hurting. 2 roommates + 5 jack handy books+ 1 late night = 1 freakin hillarious night!

"If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection? I thought you said inspection'." They'd probably feel real bad, and maybe I could get out of it."

and some others just for kicks and giggles...

“If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.”

"I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway. "

"If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact. "

"You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water skis! How do they do that?! "